Candy Sample: Kylie Minogue: “Always Find The Time”
Kylie’s 1990 album, Rhythm of Love featured the now classics: “Better the Devil You Know”; “What Do I Have To Do”; “Step Back In Time”; “Shocked,” yet the track, “Always Find the Time” could’ve been a worthy addition to this list as well, if officially released as a single. This rarity has garnered fan-favorite status, as exemplified during one of Kylie’s dates on her 2012 Anti-Tour, when the singing crowd nearly drowned her out, leaving her to ask: “Do I need to sing this one?” With its ‘90s-era drum skips and predominant keys, the song, written by Stock, Aitken and Waterman, and the singer, Rick James (“Superfreak”), also features an instrumental sample from the 1983 track, “Candy Man” by James’ early-‘80s girl group, Mary Jane Girls. “Candy Man” also includes the lyric in the second verse: “You just call me up now, baby/And I’ll always find the time.”
Mary Jane Girls’ “Candy Man” on “American Bandstand”:
Pleasure and Pain: Ariana Grande: “Side to Side”
With its pop/reggae sensibility, Ariana Grande’s “Side to Side,” featuring Nicki Minaj, is another solid track from Dangerous Woman. The singer performed the provocative “Side to Side” as part of “Vevo Presents” and showcases how good this song is and, once again, proves she’s got a vocal gift. Other musical highlights: double-time handclaps at “These friends/keep talking way too much…” offset by a slow-groove, reggae scratch; pulsating bass guitar; the backup harmonies at “’Cause tonight I’m making deals with the devil/And I know it’s gonna get me in trouble.” “Side to Side” hits the pop bull’s eye straight on.
Lyrics to Live By: Sheryl Crow Says “Live It Up”
Sheryl Crow’s 2005 album, Wildflower is certainly full of heartfelt ballads, but Crow adds a bit of cheer on “Live It Up.” It’s an encouraging ode to present-moment thinking and action. Besides its upbeat chorus, other memorable lyrics include reminders of the futility of worry and the time-waste that comes with trying to predict/control the future: “You can’t stop/working on the outcome”; “Put on your backpack/Take a trip to nowhere/You’re sidetracked/on your way to somewhere/You wind up/right back where you started.” Seeing as Crow’s offerings on Wildflower were solemn and strings-heavy, this track is a nice occurrence of pop optimism that pops up a little unexpectedly, yet serves as a welcome glimmer of hope in the midst of so much introspective reflection.
Timeless from “Time Life”
An infomercial can easily pull you in, especially when it’s one of those 30-minute “Time Life” music collections honoring the “Soul of the ‘70s.” The format, with its montage of short performance clips, mostly from vintage “Soul Train” episodes, just works to keep the attention after that initial allure—and of course most of the credit goes to isolating those catchy sound bites from some of the best R & B, soul, funk and disco productions. One in particular stood out: “(Every Time I Turn Around) Back in Love Again” by the band, L.T.D., fronted by Jeffrey Osborne. The singer’s distinct vocal clarity on top of a tight horn section, a pre-chorus popping bass chord, guitar scratch, tambourine, and soulfully angelic female backing vocalists are the ageless components.
Central Park Best: Sheryl Crow: “If It Makes You Happy” (Live)
Rockers have lots of stories to tell. Sheryl Crow is no exception. Her song, “If It Makes You Happy” starts with the line: “I belong/A long way from here.” If the Southern-inspired whiskey-soaked opening guitar riff and soulfully smooth bass chords—that roll in at just the right time—don’t pull you in… that line will.
This version, from Crow’s 1999 Live in Central Park, features The Pretenders’ lead singer, Chrissie Hynde—a woman presumably with lots of stories to tell as well: life on the road; death of a close colleague; love with a fellow musician, themes to which Crow can also relate. The singers—who seemingly have seen it all, heard it all, played it all—trade verses, with Hynde’s signature style fitting in wonderfully.
Crow’s lyrics can often leave you scratching your head (“Bring you comics in bed/Scrape the mold off the bread/And serve you French Toast again”), yet it’s how the tale is told, the drowsy buildup offset by explosive high points at the chorus—and the simplicity of that infectious chorus—that bring about universal understanding.
We don’t know how this story concludes, yet the return of that whiskey-soaked guitar riff signifies a satisfying, albeit melancholic, close to the chapter.
Two-Minute Warning: She & Him: “I Knew It Would Happen This Way”
The solemn “I Knew It Would Happen This Way” is the bonus track on She & Him’s Volume 2. It features an acoustic-guitar intro followed by dreamlike electric guitar, reminiscent of something playing on the jukebox at the Double R diner in David Lynch’s “Twin Peaks.” Zooey Deschanel’s equally ethereal vocals barely utter lyrics such as “And you don’t want me anymore”; “I won’t be waiting on the dock.” This weary-sounding character now knows her prediction about the relationship has come true and is most assured of her decision to leave. M. Ward concurs musically and provides a brief acoustic run to quickly close out this two-minute vignette.
Alive and Well: Lenny Kravitz: “Rock and Roll Is Dead”
Lenny Kravitz’s 1995 song, “Rock and Roll Is Dead” is irony at its finest. After its four-count intro, the gritty sounds of electric guitar come tearing in, along with Kravitz’s opening exclamation and Cindy Blackman’s commanding drums. These elements only proved that the genre was in no way on its last legs or six feet under. The song also served, in part, as a commentary on the preoccupation of public image and other distractions (“diamond rings”; “coke spoons”; “five hundred women in your bed”) over authentic musical talent (“You can’t even sing or play an instrument so you just scream instead…”). With Kravitz, Blackman and band still performing some 20 years later, the genre is certainly far from any need of resuscitation.
Loud and Clear: The Police: “Message in a Bottle”
The Police’s 1979 hit, “Message in a Bottle” is their reggae-pop-rock take on isolation and alienation. It’s the (allegorical) story of a castaway on an island who sends out a communication, an “S.O.S. to the world,” and in return receives a uniquely poetic form of salvation.
The lead singer, Sting goes on to tell about how “Love can mend your life/But love can break your heart.” Yet one morning after more than of year of solitude, the castaway wakes to find “a hundred billion bottles/washed up on the shore/Seems I’m not alone at being alone/a hundred billion castaways/looking for a home.” Seemingly it’s validation and a sense of camaraderie between the faceless message writers that serve as (spiritual) rescue.
Erasure Thing: Heartfelt Electro-Techno After All These Years
It would’ve been easy for the Vince Clarke/Andy Bell duo known as Erasure to create a soulless sound, where keyboard-activated blips and beats took predominance over lyrical content and vocal contribution. Thankfully, the group saw equal importance in synth and substance. In 1992, on The Tank, the Swan and the Balloon tour, staging was an additional facet to which importance was paid.
In the show, the producer/programmer Clarke was often in a militaristic “tank” that served as his control booth to initiate the tracks. Bell—always the showman—arrived on stage in a cart designed like a swan, a contrast of peace versus war. The tour also featured the twin sisters/backing vocalists, Annick and Veronique Clarisse. Bell’s voice was nothing short of amazing, easily hitting the highs and dropping the lows, yet it’s the Clarisse sisters’ blended harmony that still remains some of the best and cleanest vocals heard in a live capacity. It’s not hard to imagine the angels on high sounding like these sisters.
In the clip below, “Chorus,” a commentary on environmental collapse, showed the Clarisse sisters in flowing white dresses, portraying a pair of peaceful doves, at times an oracle on the mount, while Bell bopped in his sparkly pants that evoked fish scales in sunlight. Fitting as the chorus of “Chorus” references birds: “And they covered up the sun/Until the birds had flown away,” as well as fish: “And the fishes in the sea/Had gone to sleep.” The bridge showcases the sisters’ heavenly talent: “The sunlight rising over the horizon…”
Another track off Chorus, “Turns the Love to Anger” displays Erasure’s knack for using synth-pop, computerized and seemingly removed, as framework for something more. At the bridge: “Love is where the dream should lie/It’s not for us to reason why/Or to ponder over strategy…” And again, the Clarisse sisters shine… and it’s not their whimsical headdresses that provide the brilliance. Bell takes to his balloon to “… take a ride/Somewhere in the big blue sky…” All these years later, Erasure’s reflections on the environment and “obsession” can still be seen and heard as heartfelt electro-techno.
Pop Personality: Janet Jackson: “Doesn’t Really Matter”
“Doesn’t Really Matter” from Nutty Professor II is Janet Jackson’s ode to the “inner being,” that it “doesn’t really matter what the eye is seeing.” Its message a fitting one for the film, as Jackson’s character, a professor, plays the love interest of the reserved Professor Sherman Klump (Eddie Murphy), who has a Jeckyll & Hyde struggle with his larger physical stature. The song has undergone various incarnations (a music-video version; album/tour version), yet Jackson’s familiar breathy vocals over the fast-paced, syncopated lyrics remain. The All For You album track has an “edit” before the second chorus, and later a “rock mix”, both serving as opportunities for Jackson’s signature “dance breakdowns” during performances.
Kylie + Garibay Release Three-Song EP
Kylie Minogue and the producer, Fernando Garibay (Lady Gaga’s Born This Way) continue their collaboration post-Kiss Me Once tour, with a three-song offering that evokes ‘90s dancehall on “Black and White,” featuring Shaggy; presents another pairing with Giorgio Moroder on “Your Body”; showcases the standout electro-duet, “If I Can’t Have You,” with fellow Australian singer, Sam Sparro.
With an openness to artistic exploration, Kylie’s current work is reminiscent of her time with the Deconstruction record label, circa ‘94, when the sound kept Kylie at the center, but the surrounding spirit was indie and unconventional (for Kylie as pop star that is).
Below is “If I Can’t Have You,” featuring soulful, mellow verses offset by a chorus with a thumping bass line and what sounds like a pair of bongos electrified. This EP is evolutionary and certainly eclectic.
“What Kind of Fool” a.k.a. Life After “Better The Devil You Know”
The catchy 1992 song by Kylie Minogue could be theorized as having its origins in 1990. Think “Better The Devil You Know” (“BTDYK”), a song whose lyrics reluctantly embrace blind forgiveness of a (devilish) partner. Yet “What Kind of Fool (Heard All That Before)” could be seen as a sequel. In “BTDYK”: “I’ll forgive and forget/If you say you’ll never go.” In “Fool”: “You can say you’ll be true/I can trust in you/But I heard all that before.” Kylie is done forgiving, and ready to forget, the devil she knows.
The video for “Fool” features scenes inspired by the film, And God Created Woman, starring Brigitte Bardot, a woman to which Kylie has long paid homage, most notably the artwork for her 2003 CD, Body Language and the styling for the subsequent one-off concert at the London Apollo. The And God references include: the silhouette of Kylie lounging behind a sheet hanging on the line; Kylie dancing in a red skirt on a kitchen table. And for another film reference: the heart-shaped glasses, unmistakably from the poster for the 1962 Stanley Kubrick film, Lolita. Kylie as Lolita-type girl at the beginning of “Fool” is not the same person at the end; in the dark no longer, she’s a stronger woman slamming the kitchen door, committing to the lyric: “Don’t wanna see your face no more.”
Marriage on the Rocks: Billy Idol: “White Wedding”
Love and romance were in the air in 1982, yet Billy Idol seemed to have something else to say… and show. The myth surrounding “White Wedding” was that it was his disapproving commentary about his pregnant sister’s nuptials, a myth that became (partially) defunct in 2001 by Idol himself on “VH1 Storytellers.” The track is a far “rebel yell” from “Here Comes the Bride,” as Idol’s guitarist, Steve Stevens, fires in that sinister riff. A menacing bass line and ominous drumbeat follow, sounding as if someone was being led to the gallows, instead of down the aisle.
Idol’s vocals start out quiet; in the video, he unwraps himself from what looks like a burial cloth: “Hey little sister what have you done?” Although apparently not a disapproval of “Shotgun!” ceremonies, the song sure sounds skeptical about marriage. What follows are a series of rhetorical questions, leading to the impression that this character is not familiar with the (new) groom and has lost touch with the bride. He admits: “I’ve been away for so long.” Could this character have been a better protector? Perhaps then she would’ve made a “better” decision, instead of entering into a traditional union, an attempt at (false) security. “Who’s your superman?” plays up on the pop-culture superhero, a reference to nick-of-time rescuer.
Also in the video, Idol’s bride (played by then-girlfriend, Perri Lister) dances in a traditional kitchen, seemingly in an oblivious, altered state. Appliances and fixtures burst into flames or gush: “Well, there is nothing fair in this world/There is nothing safe in this world/And there’s nothing sure in this world…” By video’s end, the bride is hunched over, dead in the church.
The track and video can’t help but paint an ironic picture: “C’mon it’s a nice day for a white wedding.” Plus, the white gown serves as a symbol of purity, yet Idol sings: “And there’s nothing pure in this world…” And then there are these visuals: reportedly Lister deciding that her finger intentionally be sliced by Idol as he shoves on a thorny band; the bride lying on a gurney; the crypt; the two undertakers with shovels outside the church, indicative that the bride was never going to make it out (alive) and into her suburban environment. Interestingly, Lister also plays one of the three dancers dressed in black, perhaps symbolic of ghosts of previous brides who still haunt the grounds? And let’s not forget Idol’s burial cloth. All seem to present a dark theory that marriage and convention have the potential to be harmful and unhealthy, fatal even, literally and figuratively a dead end. The apparent solution: “Look for something left in this world/Start again!”
Yes, Dearie! Kylie Blossoms at Finland Jazz Festival
Kylie Minogue’s musical versatility was once again on display at the Pori Jazz Festival in Finland. She has never shied away from straight-up jazz, such as on “Stay This Way” or when she appeared on an episode of “Later… with Jools Holland,” where she performed an impressive cover of (Lena Horne’s) “Come On Strong.”
Yet seemingly her jazz inspiration comes from a woman named Blossom Dearie, an American singer and pianist in the 1950s, ‘60s and ‘70s. Dearie had a wonderfully unique vocal style: light; airy; with a childlike quality. (In the ‘70s, Dearie lent her voice to the “Schoolhouse Rock!” series of animated educational shorts that appeared as interludes during Saturday-morning cartoons. Her sweet voice can be heard on “Unpack your Adjectives,” for example.)
Over the last 10 years, Kylie has covered some of Dearie’s jazz tracks, two of which were in Kylie’s 2007 documentary-concert film, White Diamond: “I’m Hip” and “Try Your Wings.” Her vocal on “Wings” is comforting, like a hug when it’s needed, a fuzzy blanket when it’s cold, a whiskey in winter.
And finally, to Finland, where Kylie took a break to honor Dearie, with “Peel Me A Grape,” a delightfully bratty song, similar to “Santa Baby,” about a woman’s relationship demands: “Pop me a cork/French me a fry” and the playfully entitled list goes on. It’s a confident, inspiring display of this pop singer’s talent, ear and love for a music format, different from the one she’s most known for, as well as yet another lovely homage to an artist with whom many may not be familiar.
Dearie performs the track live at the piano:
Hearing Red: Kylie Minogue Covers Nena Classic
“Panic bells/It’s red alert,” ‘80s-pop extravaganza about to be enjoyed. While performing at the “Melt! Festival” in Germany, an artist many thought would be a “one-hit wonder” covered another artist’s “one-hit wonder” from the new-wave ‘80s. Kylie Minogue (the former) and her fantastic band did a red-hot cover of Nena’s synth-bass-drenched “99 Red Balloons” (the latter). Leave it to Kylie, sporting a little red number and, yes, a red balloon, to dazzle during a song about nuclear war. Yet with that said, she delivers tender vocals during the first verse, as she begins the story of “You and I in a little toy shop,” only later in the last verse to convey how innocence and hope (a single red souvenir found by the now solo protagonist) manage to survive “in this dust that was a city.”
Pop Playlist: The Beatles: “Let It Be”
When the subject of The Beatles comes up in conversation, the discussion has the potential to turn futile when its participants theorize as to what song could be considered the group’s best. Why? Because there are just so damn many. “In My Life,” “Yesterday,” “Something” and this track, “Let It Be” are strong contenders, yet to continue adding to this easy-to-compile list would only reiterate the earlier point. “Let It Be,” the 1970 Lennon-McCartney classic, features a comforting piano, Paul McCartney’s heartfelt vocals, and spiritually centered lyrics of acceptance and faith.
The first verse and chorus have a downhearted feel, made evident by the aforementioned piano and vocals, plus these introductory lyrics: “When I find myself in times of trouble…”; “And in my hour of darkness…” Yet it’s the addition of the cymbal in the second verse, and soon a fuller drumbeat, choral backing, distant horns, Billy Preston’s church-inspired keys, and later the guitar breakdown, that serve to communicate a more promising feel, indicative of the effectiveness of the three-word advice and subsequent emotional comfort provided by “Mother Mary.” This caring character is represented as McCartney’s own departed mother who came to him in a dream, or in the traditional religious context of the Virgin Mary, or perhaps the listener’s own mother or guardian.
As the post-bridge chorus and final verse play out, McCartney begins to add optimistic vocal runs, plus he sings: “And when the night is cloudy/There is still a light that shines on me/Shine until tomorrow,” which evokes that image of a guardian angel keeping a watchful eye. He also speaks about the clarity that can result upon facing another day (“I wake up to the sound of music…”), leaving those “times of trouble” and “hour of darkness” in the past. In the outro, the forlorn piano prominent at the beginning of the song is eclipsed by Preston’s soulful organ and electric piano.
It’s also to be noted that at this time—1969, 70—The Beatles album, Let It Be was to be the band’s final venture. The song works as an encouraging sentiment for the listener thinking about his or her day-to-day challenges, and the acceptance and faith that hopefully comes along, but the track more so documents McCartney’s statement to the rest of the members of the band.
“Let It Be” is an indelible, universal reminder of how music can be a source of easily accessible inspiration; a secret confidant, whispering “words of wisdom” through a pair of earbuds. Take ease in knowing that if The Beatles comes up in that eventually futile conversation, there is “an answer” or at least a solid, credible argument in the selection of this profoundly poetic track.
Where the Wild Roses Glow: Kylie Minogue at Hyde Park Festival
As the headliner at the British Summer Time festival in London’s Hyde Park, pop royalty Kylie Minogue seemed to have a certain glow, as evidenced in the four-minute video below, which features compiled footage from the huge outdoor event, with a remix of “On a Night Like This” as the soundtrack. Donning a crown, accessorized by a base of red roses (maybe that was the reason for the luminous sparkle), she looked excited and energized. Perhaps the obvious joy was due to a revised, refreshed set list, instead of the one she recently used on her Kiss Me Once tour.
Back were the signature hits, as well as some ‘80s covers (Kim Carnes’ “Bette Davis Eyes,” complete with ‘80s photo-shoot-inspired video backdrop; Kool & the Gang’s “Celebration,” as she donned a Xanadu-tastic shiny gold jumpsuit to set the tone). She did keep one Kiss Me Once song, “Into the Blue,” which closes the show and finds Kylie sporting a black, beautifully tailored coat. If Kiss Me Once was winter, Kylie looked like she was ready for summer.
Better with Age: Kylie Minogue Reimagines “Hand On Your Heart”
In 2012, to commemorate her 25th anniversary in the music business, Kylie Minogue released The Abbey Road Sessions, a 16-track album of remixes, not the expected dance remixes of her pop songs, but rather ones that were reimagined and recorded with her Aphrodite touring band and a full orchestra at London’s legendary Abbey Road Studios. Let’s focus on one track in particular, “Hand On Your Heart,” originally appeared on her 1989 album, Enjoy Yourself. Written by Stock, Aitken & Waterman (S.A.W.), the Ford, Carnegie & Rockefeller of “hit factory” Brit-pop music of the ‘80s, the song initially sounded sunny and matter of fact, a carefree account of its main character asking her guy to “Put your hand on your heart and tell me/that we’re through.”
The Abbey Road Sessions’ version dons a mature feel. It embraces a soothing arrangement, complete with a delicate sweeping brush beat and mesmerizing acoustic-guitar sequence. It sounds as if the main character is retelling the same account, but from a different point of view and place in her life. The once nonchalant teenager is now a more serious, vulnerable woman, confident that even if this guy is not around, she’ll survive. Kylie’s delivery as a balladeer is sweet and sensitive with a somber lower register, especially at the resounding lyric: “that we’re through.”
By offering a quieter version of the originally upbeat, head-in-the-clouds track, it allows the S.A.W. lyrics to be honored, proving that although seemingly factory-like, pumping out shiny product off the line, their operation did in fact produce enduring gems. The Sessions also applies a similar treatment toward two other S.A.W. songs: the unrequited infatuation with a fantasy lover on “I Should Be So Lucky”; the devoted desperation on “Never Too Late.” The release is yet another example that disproves the many who thought Kylie was an Edsel of the ‘80s, confirming instead that after all these decades she’s always been a Bentley of pop.
Innocence Found: Tom Petty’s “American Girl” in the Movies
There’s nothing like the 1977 Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers’ song, “American Girl” to inspire a feeling of carefree, sing-along abandon in its fans. Appearing on their debut album, this popular track from the late ‘70s had enough staying power to go from radio to film, making appearances in the 1982 classic, Fast Times at Ridgemont High and the 1991 masterpiece, The Silence of the Lambs.
In Fast Times, “American Girl” plays over a montage of the first day of school. For some it’s a return to another year of popularity; for others, like Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh), it’s the start of a challenge. As soon as Stacy appears in this montage, the lyrics begin: “Well, she was an American girl/raised under promises/She couldn’t help thinking that there was a little more to life/somewhere else.”
She meets a handsome older guy named Ron (D.W. Brown), a stereo salesman in the mall. Stacy lies about her age and agrees to a date with him, 26. Stacy has abandoned her rule-following American girl. She sneaks out and runs to meet Ron on a street corner, who picks her up in his car. As Petty sang: “After all, it was a great big world/with lots of place to run to.”
As this young girl in Fast Times wanted to quickly become a young woman, the placement of the song in The Silence of the Lambs, shows how a young woman can quickly revert to being a young girl. Catherine (Brooke Smith) is driving by herself, singing along to “American Girl” on her stereo, her familiar nature bonding the viewer to her. Catherine pounds along on the steering wheel and not only sings the lyric, “Make it last all night,” but also tries to sing the backup at the same time, which only makes her all the more endearing. She stops singing, and the camera remains focused on her face, allowing for a final look, warning the invested observer that this carefree American girl, safe in her protective environment, will soon be anything but. She helps a man (Ted Levine) outside her apartment, her heart in the right place, yet her naivety gets her in serious trouble.
Although both films are different—Fast Times, a sharp, slightly unnerving comedy, Silence, a chilling, totally disturbing thriller—the choice to include “American Girl” is a testament to how well the song works in capturing wide-eyed innocence. Thankfully, both characters come out the other side as stronger American women.
Not For Everyone: Madonna: “Paradise (Not for Me)”
In 2000, Madonna collaborated with the French producer, Mirwais Ahmadzaï to create her synth-country endeavor known as Music. Ahmadzaï’s contributions were admirable, yet more experimental than approachable, which could explain why there were only three singles off the album (the title track, “Music”; “Don’t Tell Me”; a non-Ahmadzaï track, “What It Feels Like For a Girl). Yet it’s “Paradise (Not For Me)” that serves as an example of the Ahmadzaï aura: ethereal, yet eerie; synthesized, yet orchestral. “Paradise” finds Madonna’s vocals intentionally drowsy, as she sluggishly labors over lyrics, as if on her (Evita) deathbed: “I can’t remember/when I was young/I can’t explain/if it was wrong/My life goes on/but not the same…” At just over 6 ½ minutes, this song of hindsight amid life’s finality unfortunately lingers, almost not knowing when to exit. Considering its haunting feel, that may be its intended goal.
Madonna did feature the song in her 2001 Drowned World Tour as the introduction to the Japanese-themed section, appearing in a short film as a geisha drawn toward a large celestial radiance: “There is a light/above my head/Into your eyes/my face remains.” Madonna, an Italian-American pop star, dressed in Japanese-geisha regalia, singing in French makes for a striking sight and sound. Above the stage, four semi-nude male dancers in powdery body makeup, their look inspired by Japanese Butoh performance artists, hang upside down in midair, wrapped in sheets like cocoons (gestation). They’re soon released from the cocoons (birth) and lowered down, free to walk upright (life). As this lead-in concludes, they open their mouths, and in a stunning effect, appear to glow or burn from within (death; cremation). Madonna’s geisha also experiences the same fate, emitting a red ray of light (sorry) from her mouth toward the audience, practically burning the macabre images into their (our) minds.
Madonna almost knew that “Paradise (Not for Me)” was not for everyone, yet she realized its artistic potential in a live capacity, aware that showcasing startling imagery could only make this eccentric track all the more powerful. The song was also featured on her Confessions tour, but as a breath-catching ballad with the vocalist, Isaac Sinwani. This adoption of a more traditional acoustic arrangement still allowed her to perform the Ahmadzaï experiment, yet via softer, friendlier means.